Reasons to Join the Akatsuki
by TotalTownie
Summary: -SEQUEL;CRACK;COMPLETE- Using a *non existent* fan book, we can discover the reasons why OCs join the Akatsuki! (OC/Various Akatsuki members)
1. The Epic Hat

**Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine ):**

**Reasons To Join The Akatsuki (In Fanfiction)  
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**_Chapter One - The Epic Hat_**

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><p><strong>[Words in <strong>_italics _**are from the *non existent* fanbook.]**

_Much like the prequel to this particular book, an OC is needed. I could be mean and tell you to read 'Ways To Join The Akatsuki' first so I don't have to do retell everything from before - which would also be a clever advertising plan - but I'll quickly go into the basics right here: _

_1) Give the OC a good personality. They need flaws as well as pros (an OC with no flaws is known as a Mary/Gary Stu and they annoy the hell out of your readers)._

_2) A name is very important. Sometimes it can be relevant to that OC's traits, other times it's witty to make it opposite. _

_Those are the two basic rules, I hope you get them down. Now, let's launch into 'Reasons To Join The Akatsuki'!_

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><p>Lola was on guard duty surrounding the Hidden Village of Corn when suddenly someone jumped out at her from the tall plants. One quick glance at their cloaks and she knew they were an enemy, so she pulled her huge, powerful - and super epic - sword of her back and stood in a fighting stance.<p>

"Surrender now or face being killed in one blow by my sword-" She was cut off when another cloaked person leaped from behind her and knocked her out cold.

_(About an hour later)_

When Lola awoke, she found herself in a strange, dark room, many pairs of eyes looking curiously at her.

She tried to move but couldn't: thick ropes were tied around her ankles and wrists; she was damning herself for being a fairly weak water type. It didn't help that her sword was laid out on a desk in front of her.

The people in the room watched as she attempted to break her way out of the ropes, only to fall on her side. A few of them began to laugh.

"Hey! Shut up!" The girl snapped, irritated. "Why are you keeping me here?"

"Because," a voice from behind the desk said and all swivelled to face the guy, Lola glaring in his direction. "Your skills with the sword are useful to us."

"Huh." She smirked. "You think I'd join you guys? I know who you are. You're the Akatsuki. I've heard tales about you, how you stole the Ichibi from Sabaku No Gaara, Suna's Kazekage. I would never join you!" Lola spat. "I would rather die! You'll have to kill me, and I'm pretty sure my village will rush to avenge me when they here about this."

The dark figure shrugged. "You leave us no choice. You really should join us though, we'll give you free waffles."

"Waffles? Really? You're stupid if you think I'll be brought by that!"

"Don't you want to wear our cloaks?"

"Those weird, over sized things with swirly cloud rip offs on them? No thanks!"

"Leader-sama, if I may…" Another voice in the darkness piped up. "You could always give her one of _those_. Nobody is able to resist _them_…"

"Them? What are they? Hello?" Lola kept repeating the sentence.

"I don't know…Ah screw it, that's an excellent idea Sasori!"

"Does this mean I get a raise?" There was a hopeful tone clear in his speech.

"F*ck no!"

"Damn."

"Leader-sama…You don't pay us at all, yeah."

"Shut up Deidara! I'm the leader, I say what goes! Tell them Konan!"

"Not this again…Could you just make her join already?"

"Ah, yes, sorry, of course!" He coughed. "Turn the light on."

There was the flick of a switch and Lola blinked a few times. Her sword had been moved slightly so there was room for another item.

The girl twitched. It was going to be difficult resisting…

"What do say Lola? Join us…And one of these will be yours for nothing."

"I…Um…"

Her eyes couldn't help but be drawn to the straw hat sitting there. It was pointed and generally awesome looking…

But she couldn't join the Akatsuki! They were bad guys!

But the hat was awesome looking…

"This hat…For nothing…"

She breathed out and she began wriggling in her bounds once more. "Yes, whatever! I don't care what I have to do, just give me the hat!"

Leader-sama smirked. Another - quite useful - sucker had fallen for the hat's charms.

It was dirty cheating, putting that out there to tempt them but seriously, who said anything about playing fair?

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><p><em>Fighting fair just wouldn't be the Akatsuki's thing now, would it?<em>

_There isn't really much to say about this chapter except to note the characters determination at the start and then watch as she is worn down. It happens to the best of us…_

_Until next time._

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><p><strong>Hi there everyone! Did you miss this series? 'Cause I definitely missed writing it!<strong>

**As you can tell, it's a sequel to 'Way To Join The Akatsuki'. It'll probably be shorter but then, who can tell? I sort of jot ideas down and then get new ones to replace bad ones…Looks like I'm in for quite a bumpy ride!**

**[If you're completely new to this, then hello! I hope you enjoy reading!]  
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**Oh! Thanks to everyone that reviewed the bonus chap on WTJTA: Moonlight'sServant, Echo Uchiha, Noel14, LizaKon, Neko Morie, icrazy3477 and The Chocolate Queen. Don't know if you'll read this one too but…You were mentioned! ^_^**

**Please review this chapter!**

**See you soon!**


	2. The Deidara Way

**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine. The series belongs to Kishimoto-sensei.**

**Reasons To Join The Akatsuki (In Fanfiction)**

**_Chapter Two - The Deidara Way_**

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><p><em>The reason this chapter is called 'The Deidara Way' is because your OC could join the Akatsuki in a similar fashion to the blonde artist - that is, not of their own accord, but being faced with a fight and losing it, forcing them to join the super gang.<em>

_This could give you the chance to write a fight scene but be warned: make it exciting or reviewers will be displeased._

_Lets begin!_

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><p>A girl was sitting in her little, run down, wooden shack sharpening her sword. If that wasn't dramatic enough, it was windy and rainy, thunder piercing the air and lightening casting shadow and light through the tiny window.<p>

The door swung open, more lightening flaring.

The girl looked up from polished her super-ultra-amazing-fantastic weapon of awesomeness, her slate grey eyes frowning at the light.

Three figures were stood in the door way.

"Who the f*ck are you?" She hissed, one hand cupping around her orbs as if to help her see better.

The taller of the three answered. "Are you Belle?"

She frowned. "That is what they call me, yes."

"You are the famed 'killer for hire'?"

"Yes." She paused. "You didn't answer my question!"

"Calm down, geez! I was just getting to it!"

The second tallest figure coughed pointedly.

"Oh sorry guys. Continue," Belle said in a tough voice.

"We are from the Akatsuki to request that you join us."

Belle laughed coldly. "Me? Join you? No way. You're not worth my time."

"Oh really?" The figure disappeared before reappearing behind her, whispering into her ear. "Well how's about we play a game? You fight one of us. If you win, we'll leave and you don't have to join. If you lose, you must join the organization. Deal?"

"Hmph." She wouldn't show it, but having a guy really close up was making her go red. "F-fine. I accept your challenge. Which of you am I up against?"

The one behind her straightened up, bringing him with her. "He's outside. Deidara could you bring him in?"

"Why do I always get stuck with the crap jobs, un?"

"Just do it."

"Un." The shortest one left, only to reappear with-

"Yay!11! Tobi is fighting!"

Belle snorted, doubled over with laughter. "Y-you're kidding me, right? I'm fighting this guy? What a joke! I could beat him with my eyes closed."

All raised their eyebrows as Tobi stepped up.

_(Three seconds later..)_

"So uh…Should we tell Leader-sama this girl was beaten by Tobi in the first twenty seconds or exaggerate and say she fought long and hard, only to lose out at the last minute, un?"

"…I vote the second option."

"Sounds good to me."

"Yeah."

Belle, who was being carried by the triumphant Tobi, groaned wordlessly.

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><p><em>I didn't focus on the fight scene, instead providing a lovely message for everyone out there: never underestimate your enemy; chances are you will probably lose. Badly.<em>

_That's it for this chapter, tune in next time!_

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><p><strong>In case you didn't notice, that convenient 'three seconds later' thing was just my small way of letting you know I cannot write fight scenes ;) Still, I stuck a moral in there!<strong>

**By the way, you're free to make up who the unmentioned members are. I guess the one whispering could be Itachi at a push…**

**Thanks to my reviewers: the ever amazing Echo Uchiha and someone I've never encountered before, je suis folle de toi [I would say something back in French but my knowledge of the language isn't as good as my grades say….I should revise].**

**Please review! I like the fact that people fave and/or subscribe, but I do love reviews. Your feedback is very important to me ^_^**

**Well, I'm done here, so sayonara until next chapter.**

**PS: Random, but isn't The Lazy Song (Bruno Mars) awesome? The chorus suits me to a T XD [But_ ONLY_ the chorus!]  
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	3. Hidan Is Hot!

**Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me. I'll get over it.**

**Quick A/N: Sorry about slow updates! I had a French exam [heureusement c'était facile!] and it's been difficult getting my ideas onto the screen! [I'm also meant to be revising…*laughs awkwardly*]**

**On with the chapter!**

**Reasons To Join The Akatsuki**

**_Chapter Three - Hidan. Is. Hot._**

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><p><em>Some OCs may have the characteristic of liking boys a little too much. As in, if they see a hot boy, they will follow him. This example explores that idea.<em>

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><p>"If you're just tuning in, you're watching my report of the village's most recent missing nin. At approximately four am, Hidan - everybody's favourite Jashinist - brutally murdered his neighbours and fled the village. His actions have so far been unexplained. Ha, only screwing with you. He was irritated that the village had 'turned into a hot bed for tourists'. How do I know this? I just do. And my notes say so.<p>

"Anyhoo, if you turn the camera over here- Wait. Camera? News? How can we have cameras and news? What sort of f*cked up world do we live in? I mean, I know all shinobi have radios but…Agh! I don't understand!111 Get me out this place! I-"

_**Beeeeeeeep!**_

The screen suddenly had rainbow coloured stripes on it, a voice announcing, "Uh, we're experiencing some technical difficulties at the moment so if you people could just be patient- No! Hold her down while they bring the people from the Funny Farm!" The voice paused. "Ha ha…Sorry folks! In the meantime, enjoy this picture of the missing nin in question."

A picture flashed up, showing a silver haired man with amethyst coloured eyes. Nothing special, right? Well, what if I told you he was WEARING NO SHIRT?

…Nope? Nothing? Uh…

Okay fine, it might not be driving YOUR hormones crazy, but for the girls watching the report , it was enough for them to turn into mindless zombie like beings that stampeded towards the gate ready to look for that hot piece of- ready to look for Hidan.

A few miles away in the bat cave- super awesome bad-ass Akatsuki cave of evilness, Deidara burst into the sitting room, out of breath.

"What's wrong blonde bitch?" Hidan asked.

"You haven't seen the news, have you un…" At this he flicked the TV onto the Yugakure network.

"Yes people, just three minutes ago, all the young women in the village ran out of the gates, all muttering one name: Hidan. It seems that the man's looks have driven these girls so far into fangirlism that they'll be impossible to stop. Hidan, if you're watching this…Even if you are an evil bastard, I wish you the very best of luck."

The Jashinist gaped at the TV. "What the f*ck?"

"Language, Hidan-"

"There's no time for that you prick! We have to leave or they'll come for us!"

"I think it might be a little too late for that." Leader-sama stalked into the room, pointing outside.

"Huh?"

Cries of, "Hidan!" and "Please let me join!" came from outside.

There was the sound of irregular breathing coming from the normally terrifying man. "What do we do?"

Pein stood, deep in thought.

"Leader-sama! Hidan-san is going purple. I think he's trying to suffocate-"

"That's it!" The orange haired man yelled, snapping his fingers. "Deidara, get Konan. Tell her I have a solution to our lack of members!"

"But we don't have a problem of that sort-"

"Silence! Just do as I say! We're gonna be holding interviews!"

_~ Time skip to when everything is a little calmer ~_

"Name."

"Ren, sir."

"Age?"

"Sixteen."

"Why do you wish to join the Akatsuki?"

"Because Hidan is hot and I wanna be close to him- Uh…Because I hate how the price of rice is going up!"

"It is? Itai!" The leader clutched the back of his head after Konan had delivered a sharp slap to it. "Anything else? You can be honest."

"Not really, though I wasn't kidding about the rice." She paused. "Oh, don't know if this is useful to you but I have power of unicorns."

"Unicorns?"

"Not just normal unicorns. Magical ones." The girl shrugged like it was no big deal.

"…You've got the job." Apparently Leader-sama thought this was a big deal. His blue haired deputy face palmed.

"Heck yes! It's fate!" Ren screeched as a cloak was passed to her. "Now if you don't mind, could you tell me where Hidan might be?"

"Either in the living room or his own bedroom."

"And where would that be?"

The two leaders looked at each other as if to ask, _"Do we hate him enough to tell this insane fan girl where he is?"_

Yes, yes they do.

"You go out of here, carry on up the corridor and it's the grey door on your right."

"Thanks!" With that, she raced out of the room.

_(Seconds later…)_

"Ahh! Get the f*ck of me! Damn you to f*cking hell!"

"You'll be there too, right?"

"Shit!" Hidan glanced up to the ceiling. "Kami-sama, if you're listening, I've been thinking about repenting and- Get the hell away from me, you crazy whore!"

While Hidan ran away from Ren, Kisame called after him, "Should've pretended you were gay, dude!"

Little did he know how much of a bitch karma could be…

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><p><em>Ah, the cliff hanger. Used too many times it can be an over kill. Used a few times and you've struck gold. It keeps people hanging for the next update…Never forget that!<em>

_Until next time!_

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><p><strong>End<strong>

…**Like I said up there, it's getting a little more difficult to write this fic now. Ideas aren't coming as much as I would like them too. *Sighs***

**At least this is better than the first version I had. This one kicks the other's ass, if half heartedly.**

**Thanks to Echo Uchiha, je suis folle de toi and Neko Morie. Sorry I haven't updated in so long guys!**

**Please review and see you next time! *Peace sign***


	4. It's All About The Money

**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**

**Reasons To Join The Akatsuki**

**_Chapter Four: It's All About The Money._**

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><p><em>Yes, we had a cliff hanger last chapter. No, I will not continue on from that cliffy in this chapter. Ha. Now you'll have to hang around to see the result of it. I believe this is called 'ownage' (or 'pwnage'…Tsk, our language is dying).<em>

…_Note the clever device I have used. Leave your reviewers hanging! They'll hate you for it for a while, but who cares? Such is needed to gain attention to good literature!_

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><p>Hey there, welcome to the Akatsuki cave of awesomeness. If you could just sit down over here…Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Tea? Juice? Water?<p>

Who am I you ask? Oh, just the randomer they dragged here to be their secretary-type person while they hold their 'interviews'. (I say it like that 'cause people were 'transported' here like I was.)

…You _are _here for the interviews, right? No? Well good. Somebody already got the job. No, I don't know why I'm still here. Save me?

Joke, I'm kidding - sorta. Seeing as you've come all this way, I might as well tell you about the girl that got the job. What's that? You don't care? You want to leave? Ha, no. If I'm trapped here, you are too.

Anyway, I'll get on with telling you about it. STOP SCREAMING DAMMIT! NOBODY HERE WILL CARE!

Story time!

_**(Earlier that day…)**_

"Nagato…"

"Yes Konan, my paper angel?"

"Don't you 'paper angel' me!" The female yelled, causing Pain to sink lower in his seat, and the other members to back against the wall.

"I…It wasn't me! Hidan did it!"

"Oh f*ck no!" The Jashinist butt in, pointing a finger in the orange haired one's direction. "I ain't getting involved in your shit!"

Konan smiled fakely, creeping them out even more. "This morning I was awoken by tapping on the door. Turns out to be a group of girls who claims to have been kidnapped by 'some dude with loads of piercing'. When I asked them if a reason had been given by this idiot that had brought them here, they said they were to be interviewed." A vein in her forehead jumped. "How many times have I told you WE DON'T NEED ANYMORE NEW MEMBERS?"

Leader-sama squeaked. Tobi giggled.

"They end up locked in that spare room we have because they're useless!"

"B-but Konan I-"

"Yo. Excuse me. Hi. Yeah, I'm here." The door opened and a bored looking girl with glossy black hair strolled in, wearing the Akatsuki cloak. "I'm the new member, Umi. Well, at least that guy" - she gestured to Pain - "said I was. Just clocking in."

"No! S-she's lying!"

"Dude look, don't give me any crap. 'Sides, I have this contract thing. Something like I'm bound to the organization for ever. And ever. And…you get the idea."

This was when the air turned darker and Pain decided it would be a good idea to GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. Suffice to say, the blue haired woman stormed after him.

A few seconds later, his screams were echoing through the base.

Umi blinked, turning to face Itachi as he looked the most sensible.

"Just to let you know, I don't give a crap about the organization."

"Then why didn't you just refuse Leader-sama's offers, un?" Deidara asked the girl curiously.

Umi laughed.

"This chick is insane," Kisame stated, shooting her a confused glance.

"Hey lady, are you f*cking crazy? You on f*cking drugs or some shit?"

"N-no," she snickered, straightening up when the guys didn't get her. "You actually don't know why? It's for the money!" She said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Money?" Kakuzu repeated, immediately snapping full attention to the girl. "Please go on."

"Dudes, money is the most important thing in the world! Without money, we would all die. Art, lolly pops, religion…Please. It's all about the money!"

"F*ck you, you bitch! Jashin will smite you down for that!"

"Art is amazing, un!"

"L-lollies?"

Kakuzu simply stared at her, a weird sort of happy glow radiating from him.

"Nope, money is where it's at. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna find that blue haired lady and the supposed leader guy. I want to discuss pay with him and I also need to check if they broke anything. If they did, it's going down." Umi paused, thinking. "I wonder if there's anything valuable here too…See you later!" With that, she tossed her hair and walked haughtily out of the room.

"Hey Kakuzu, snap out of it, yeah."

"What's wrong with Kuzu-san?"

"I think he f*cking loves her or something."

"…Ok_ayyyyy_…"

"How sweet!"

Hidan mimed barfing.

_**(End story)**_

So yeah, to sum it up for you, a new member joined and Kakuzu fell in love.

I guess you can leave now. I say I guess because I've been told that many have tried to escape and failed. Still, good luck! Bye bye!

…Sucker. There is _no_ escape.

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><p><em>Here, I'll throw in another tip for you. If your fic feels as though it's lacking something, throw in some romance. Gets the crowd going, because really, who doesn't like a good romance story?<em>

_Until next chapter!_

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><p><strong>End<strong>

**Sorry about weird updates; I have exams. (I only have three left to do though: maths, French speaking and a mock geography). Forgive me again?**

**Dawwwww Kuzu-kun gets some loving! Sort of. If this had been a one shot, well who knows? …We'll never know. I would be unable to write an Akatsuki member x OC seriously because I take the piss too much. *Rubs back of head in awkward manner***

**Thanks to: je suis folle de toi, Neko Morie, Echo Uchiha, The Phoenix is Immortal and Chocolate Pencil - who reviewed all three in one go! You guys are awesome.**

**By the way, before I go, does anyone else feel as though they're drowning in a sea of 'Akatsuki turning into cats and have been transported to an AU' stories? Maybe it's 'cause I'm so critical towards them that they bother me…**

**Please review! See you next time! **


	5. Everywhere Else Sucks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Watch me weep.**

**Reasons To Join The Akatsuki**

**_Chapter Five - Everywhere Else Sucks_**

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><p><em>In the fic previous to this, various OCs ended up in the Akatsuki having gone through various ordeals. This explores that further, with a proper reason coming into play.<em>

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><p>Maki - this one shot's faithful OC - stood up and blinked. And then she pinched herself and blinked again (and repeated this action twenty times just to make sure and to add more length to things).<p>

No way.

No freaking way.

It was real! As in, something that should/will not ever happen in a million years (unless the human race invents some sort of epic - and expensive - machine thing) had happened.

One second she had been sitting in her cosy living room watching some trash TV with volume two billion **(*)** - or something - of _Naruto_ open at her most favouritest page like ever, then there was a flash of multicoloured light and the next second she found herself flat on the ground of the Naruto-verse ('cause really, where else would she be in a Naruto fic?).

Now, if something along these lines had happened to a normal, sane person like YOU - yeah, I'm talking to you reader sitting in front of the screen you're reading this from - I imagine you'd freak out a little. Cry maybe because YOU'VE JUST BEEN POOFED INTO A FICTIONAL WORLD WITH NO HOPE OF GETTING HOME.

Once you'd gained back your mind, I imagine you going to hide someplace. A bush would be good - clichéd, but a classic, am I right? Why would you hide? Let me put it like this. You are in Naruto. In Naruto, there are ninjas, some good, some bad - *coughTHEAKATSUKIcough* - who could come along and attack/maim/kill you at any time should you remain out in the open. Hiding would be a pretty smart thing to do.

(By the way, if there aren't any bushes around, find something else. If you honestly can't find anything to hide behind, congrats! You're probably in my favourite ninja village, Sunagakure. I'm jealous. Alternatively, you could be in Konohagakure after Leader-sama destroyed everything. Then I'm not really that jealous.)

Using your amazing powers of deduction that would bring Professor Layton to his knees, you figure out where you are, and then seek out help. The nice people you find duly help you return home. You never speak of this incident again. Case closed.

This was not the case for our retarded- uh, faithful OC. Rather than being distraught, she…Well, see for yourself.

"I'm in Naruto? Th-this is…AWESOME! WOOT! Wait till the guys at the Otaku club hear about this!"

Sigh. You think that's bad? Please do stick around. It gets worse.

Maki here is the Akatsuki's biggest fan. Before, they were mere fictional beings. Poor Maki had no hope of meeting them. But now…

Yep, you've guessed it. She was going to find them. Even though they could kill her with one blow, Maki wanted to get close to them.

This is going to end well, isn't it?

No. Not really.

_**(Meanwhile, in the bat-cave…)**_

"I'm so boreeeeeeeed," Kisame said, leaning back on the sofa.

"You f*cking said it fish-dude."

"Agreed, yeah."

"Tobi doesn't understand what's so boring but senpai said it was boring so I think Kisa-senpai is right too!"

.

.

.

"I disagree, un."

"Oh! Then Tobi also disagrees."

"Ah, wait, I agree, yeah."

"Me too!"

.

.

.

"Nooooo senpai! Why are you so mean to Tobi? That hurts!"

"Why won't you just shut up, un?"

Kisame and Hidan watched for a few minutes as Tobi and Deidara had one of their usual 'fights' (one sided, with the blonde beating the crap out of the masked one), only for them to sigh when it was over.

"Why can't something happen in this god-forsaken place?"

Oh Kisame…You should've kept your mouth shut.

"Hellooooooo! Hellooooooooo? Anybody hereeeeeeee?"

Hidan jumped up. "What the crap was that? Is it an intruder? Can I kill them?"

"Hey not on your own I wanna-"

"Hello? Oh, I found some of you!" The door opened and Maki stepped inside, grinning dementedly at the four members assembled. "Hi there! I'm sooooooo glad to meet you all. I'm-"

"Leader-sama! Tobi is frightened by the scary girl!"

"Leader-sama, I am enjoying watching Tobi being scared, yeah!"

"You shouldn't be scared, Tobi-kun. But by all means call Leader-sama, and Konan-chan, and Itachi-kun, and Zetsu-kun, and Kakuzu-kun…and even Sasori-kun's ghost, too!"

"LEADER-SAMA!"

Maki giggled, laughing even harder when Kisame and Hidan approached her, pointing their respective weapons at her chest. "I always wanted to see these things up close!"

"Who are you?" The fish-guy asked, secretly happy at some form of action - for the past few weeks, their missions had been doing tasks for some old lady who lived in the woods.

"I'm Maki, and I-"

"I'll handle the questions, Kisame," a voice behind her deadpanned and she turned to see Pain himself standing there.

"Wow! You're here in person!"

"Be quiet. Sit over there." Maki did as instructed. "Now…Who are you?"

"My name is Maki."

"How did you get here?"

"You see, the thing is, I was sitting in my apartment earlier when suddenly a flash of light came and the next thing you know I was here in the Naruto-verse."

"Ok_aaa_y…Does anyone know what the heck she's on about?" He whispered the last part to all assembled, the only worded answer - "Probably f*cking high." - coming from Hidan.

"May I continue?"

"Uhh…Please do."

Flipping her auburn hair, Maki carried on with her tale. "So anyway, when I realised I was here in the Naruto-verse, I just knew I had to find you all. It's a bit embarrassing, but I admire you all a lot. You're way better than anybody else in the story. I'd love to be a part of your crew."

"You…admire us? Really?" He paused. "Even Hidan?"

"I f*cking object to that, you bastard."

Ignoring the Jashinist, the OC nodded, pulling a face. "You're way better than any of the hidden villages. I mean, village hidden in leaves? Please. You guys could crush the entire world if you wanted!"

"That's kind of you to say so. Everybody talk for a moment. I need to think." So the girl thought the Akatsuki were amazing? And that they could destroy the world? If only she had some sort of talent, he would…

Wait. She'd walked in here without difficulty. That must mean something, right?

Yes. He had made up his mind, and coughed to signal this.

Facing the girl once more, he spoke. "After thinking long and hard about this-"

"You were only thinking for thirty f*cking seconds."

"_Long and hard about this _I would like to offer you a place in the Akatsuki," Pain finished, noting her beaming face and rejoicing at his victory.

"HECK YEAH!"

"Good. I will sort you out a room and such. Welcome to the organization." With that, the orange haired leader left the room, completely forgetting there would probably be hell to pay when _she_ returned.

_~ A few hours later… ~_

"Phew, what a tough day. I hope Nagato hasn't done anything…stupid." The blue haired woman's tone slowed when she saw a girl seated on her bed. "Excuse me, who are you?"

The girl smiled sweetly. "I suppose Leader-sama hasn't told you yet! I'm Maki, I'm the newest member."

"Oh, I see. Lovely to meet you too Maki," Konan replied, bowing her head. "I'm sorry to suddenly leave but I need to talk to _Leader-sama _about something."

"It's okay!"

"Thank you." Closing the door gently, Konan waited until she was further up the corridor before taking a deep breath in.

"NAGATO!"

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><p><em>Hm…It appears may be crowded already. Still, as the saying goes, the more the merrier!<em>

_Thus ends the last proper chapter of this book. Thank you for reading._

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><p><strong>I am so very sorry. It's little consolation to say, "It's been a while!", hm? I had a small case of writer's block, but I didn't want to post an entire new fic as I'd end up leaving this one too far behind. [And because of writer's block, I wouldn't be able to write anything new anyways.]<strong>

**(*) You know it'll happen…Maybe XD**

**Thanks to: Empyreal Phoenix, Echo Uchiha and Neko Morie. I hope you like this chapter too.**

**By the way, you didn't misread. This is the last proper chapter of this fic. I was going to end it this chapter, but I wanted to write one more, to finish something off from before.**

**Please review, for this bunch of reviewers will be the last to be thanked by name here!**

**Ja ne! *bows***


	6. BONUS! Kisa kun Is Hot Too!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto-sensei does.**

**Reasons To Join The Akatsuki**

**_BONUS - Kisa-kun Is Hot Too!_**

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><p><em>Remember that technique we touched upon - the cliff hanger? Rather than being cruel, I believe it is only right that we return to it, so here you go. It also makes a fitting end to any fic.<em>

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><p>It was a completely normal day in the Akatsuki bat cave. Kakuzu was counting his money, Hidan was busy trying to hack his arm off, Itachi was reading a newspaper and Tobi was being chased around by an angered Deidara, whose hair was falling out of its tie.<p>

Lovely. Normal by anybody's standards really.

Kisame sat in the living room giggling away to himself. He was lucky, after all. Out of the entire organization, he was the one least likely to get some crazy rabid fan girl attack him, like that Ren girl who'd shown up the other week after claiming to be in love with Hidan. Yep, him being a mutant fish-human-type-organism meant he wasn't the best looker, which was handy in such situations.

Or so he thought.

But karma is a bitch, something our blue friend was to find out…Pretty soon actually.

"Oi Kisame, it's your turn to go grocery shopping." Kakuzu gestured to a bag of money Leader-sama had left out on the counter for that very purpose.

"Fine-"

"TOBI WANTS TO COME TOOOOOOO~!"

"Great idea, yeah! Tobi, go with Kisame!"

"Yay!" The orange masked maniac cheered, grabbing the money and dashing out of the room. "Shopping with Kisame-senpai~!"

The blue one sighed. Whilst Tobi was amusing to be around at some times, taking him grocery shopping in one of his hyper moods wasn't fun…or easy.

"Come on Kisa-senpai!"

"Coming…I'll kill you later, Deidara."

"Whatever, Kisame no Danna, un. Hurry along now, Tobi is waiting."

A kunai was thrown towards the smirking blonde.

_~ Later, at the store… ~_

Kisame placed the shopping on the conveyor belt, absentmindedly hoping Tobi was still over at the toys section. Well, even if he wasn't, he'd make his own way home somehow. And besides, he wasn't his partner - it was Deidara's job to look after him, sort of.

"Um, excuse me? Sir? That'll be thirty ninja dollars."

"Huh? Oh sure, whatever." Kisame turned to the girl and placed the required money into her palm.

"Thanks. Here's your receipt and change…Whoa." The girl looked up and carried on staring.

Kisame noticed, immediately thinking she was scared of his blue skin and sharp teeth. "You gonna keep doing that? Okay, so it's weird but I was born this way so-"

"No, you're not weird! In fact, you're kind of…Wow." She swallowed, colour filling her cheeks. "Um, I'm Haru."

"Uh, great. I need to leave now, so…"

"What are you saying? You can't leave! You only just got here! Please stay!" With that, she clung onto his arms, preventing him from walking away.

"Hey, listen up girly, you better let go," he snapped, preparing to bring out the whole 'I'm in the Akatsuki, I could kill you in one move' speech, only to fall short when he noticed her expression. "Oh shit."

Haru had gone from the calm cashier girl to crazed fan girl in the space of twenty seconds. This. Was. Not. Good.

"Let go of my arm now."

"No way! Not until you tell me your name!"

"Ha, no."

"Then I'm not letting go~." She sang, her face deranged. "I'm not letting the hot guy go~."

"No, seriously, you scare me. Let go."

"How can you say that? I only want to know your name!" Haru sniffed. "You're so mean!"

"Thanks. Get the hell off me!"

"No."

This continued for ten minutes until Tobi came bounding up to improve Kisame's situation.

"Come on Kisame-senpai! We need to go home!"

Haru - still clinging onto fish-guy's arm like her life depended on it - smiled insanely at poor Tobi. "And where exactly is home?"

"No! Tobi! Don't-"

"Home? The cave in the woods! That's where all of us in the Akatsuki live!"

"You little-!"

…Did I say Tobi was there to improve Kisa-kun's situation? Sorry about that. I meant make it considerably worse. Whoopsie!

"Hey! I know!" Tobi exclaimed, waving his arms around. "Why doesn't pretty-yet-scary-lady come home with us?"

"Say your prayers you damn-!"

"That's an amazing idea! I will come home with Tobi and Kisame-kun!" She stepped out from behind the counter, forgetting that she was meant to be on duty and began dragging the desperate-to-escape Akatsuki member out of the store, the other bringing up the rear, bags dangling off his arms.

Security simply watched, dumb founded - there wasn't anything wrong with the scene per say, besides the cursing blue guy, and the masked one skipping, and the cashier girl leaving work early. Stuff like that happens all the time, right?

And that is how Kisame had a run-in with a fan girl.

If you're curious about what happened when the three got there, here's a simple version: Haru declared they were to be married, Hidan laughed in his face, and Leader-sama attempted to recruit her…though I guess that's a story best saved for another time.

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><p><em>Did that put your mind at rest? Good.<em>

_With this tale ends the book. Thank you for reading this, and good luck with your own Akatsuki fics._

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><p><strong>There we go…The cliffy was answered (: Sorry for the length and crap-ness of it, but if I'm honest, I wanted to wrap things up. Besides, these things aren't meant to be amazing…That's why it's a parody.<strong>

**Thanks to Neko Morie and Echo Uchiha. Your feed back continues to be helpful, and your support it damn awesome! Also thanks to anyone who faved, alerted, etc. It means a lot! Hope you continue to support me!**

**So…It's over. It's been fun…And thanks to writer's block, annoying too. *laughs* I doubt there's gonna be a sequel to this, but I'll never give up writing about the Akatsuki!**

**To anyone that reads and/or reviews, thank you a bunch! Hope you like!**

**Well, I'm going now! TT signing out! *Bows***


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